Religious Recruitment Interviews

Today is a very special day. It is your day, the day where you choose your belief, your religion. To be able to make the right choice, you have invited representatives of the various religions and traditions. All is kept anonym so that you can orientate on the content without getting distracted by name or outer appearance.

Certainly, you are quite excited. You are aware of the fact that you have the choice today. This is a “lucky chance” in comparison to all other people which are born in a specific religion without any conscious choice.

You are sitting in your big office, waiting in suspense for the first representatives. In this big office, you feel like being the Boss where the representatives will behave like applicants, trying their best to convince you to take them. You feel that you are in a position of power, that it is up to you what you choose. And when you think about all other people which have no choice, it makes you smile in fascination. And you ask yourself, why not all people on earth get the chance for a conscious decision for a religious belief. You can imagine that this would bring major changes to mankind, to society, that it could have liberating effects.

Still thinking about these things, the first representative knocks at your door and comes in.

After some small talk, he starts to talk about the greatness of his religion. Again, you feel superior, like a Boss or King as the representative makes great effort to convince you. This is so unusual as normally all common people bow their heads towards the religious leaders.

M: “Sir, you know, our religion is not only the greatest of all religions but it is also true that all other religions are from the devil, misleading people. I must also say that only our holy book is true, dictated by a high angel in the name of God. All other books, independent how beautiful and wise they might appear, – they are all written by the devil and misled devil worshippers. And certainly, there is only one true God and this is ours.”

You: “Mmmh, sounds really fascinating. How do you know this all?”

M: “Beware of what you are saying! Don´t offend us! Our God will punish you directly!!!”

You: “Oh, I am really sorry! I didn´t want to offend you in anyway. Please, continue.”

M: “This is a wise decision. Our God is all-merciful but he hates infidels. Infidels need to be punished, tortured or better directly killed as they are an insult to every good believer. Infidels are not better like the cattle on the field. They have no value and they only live to serve us. Our God gave us clear instructions how to deal with them and it is our holy duty to make the infidels subject to our God. Our whole religion is based on submission and we have clear and hard punishments for misguided humans. So, you see, we have a beautiful order in our society, and we strive only for the best to please our God. Besides all these wonderful gifts of greatness, our God is so kind to reward every good believer with a place in paradise where he can enjoy countless pleasures with a plentitude of beautiful young women in wonderful gardens and the best to eat and drink.”

You: “This sounds really inviting! I would love to get a first glance of these wonderful gardens. Your God must really be the greatest by such amazing offers!”

After a short coffee-break the second representative comes in.

B: “You know, there is no God. The absolute reality is nothingness. Everything is illusion. So, our path is to realize this and to free ourselves.”

You: “Mmmh, but what shall I do with “nothingness”? I guess, I get depressions when I think that I and the whole world are just illusions.”

B: “You must get it right. Illusions can not hurt and you can create your own reality, a better world. You just need to release all the false ideas about yourself, your ego, the world, religions, etc. Then you find inner peace and happiness. We show you the way by offering you tools for mental training. And once you have realized the highest reality, – nothingness, you will understand and your mind will be enlightened. Besides this, we emphasize the virtues of compassion for all beings and wisdom.”

You: “Mmmh, okay, so there is no God to worship and reality depends on me? An interesting concept. Compassion for all beings sounds good.”

Then directly after this conversation the next representative knocks on the door.

P: “We love nature. We perceive us as a part of nature. Nature is everything. The sky is our father and the earth is our mother. We follow our own nature. We are free in satisfying our needs and desires. Join us and release all the artificial conditioning of society. Do what you will. Follow your instincts. Sing, laugh, dance, eat, drink, sleep, have sex as much as you like. There are not boundaries. Embrace the spirit of your nature.”

You: “So, I am supposed to do whatever I like? Including free sex with whomever?”

P: “Yes, this is nature, this is life. You are free like all animals! Enjoy your freedom! Do what you will! Nature is dualistic and this is fine. Be good, be bad, just do what your will is!”

You: “This sounds like true freedom. So you orientate everything on nature and the animal kingdom. And it is the nature which is worshipped.”

The fourth one pops in.

S: “You know, it is scientifically proven that you, mankind and the whole universe are just a matter of a pure coincidence. The world started its existence with a big bang in nothingness and since then a lot of coincidences have happened. The result is the world as we know it. So, there is no need to believe into anything. You can believe in yourself but in fact, you are just an animated material machine, a coincidence of life. Join us and be realistic!”

You: “This is very realistic. Maybe a little bit too much for a human being. So, you say that there is no sense in anything in this world and that nothing is of any real value. Mmmh…”

It is lunch time and you stare at your meal, thinking that there is only nothingness, all illusions driven by coincidences and that the human machine has no value at all. So strange!

While you enjoy your illusionary coffee and a chocolate cookie, wondering how illusions can be so delicious, the next representative comes in.

J: “Peace be with you! We are those who are chosen by God. Our God is jealous, enjoys fights and war but our God has also promised us to rule over all infidels in the end and to use them like the cattle on the field. We just have to obey. I can tell you that it is wonderful to belong to the small group of chosen ones, to be the elite of the world. Only the many infidels are bothering. So, if you want to join us, you just need to obey to our God and the world is yours.”

You: “This reminds me of another representative. Interesting that you both share similar values and ideas.”

It is time for a cup of good tea and your next representative likes to share a cup with you.

H: “You know, my tradition is very old, the oldest of all. We have a great pantheon of gods and goddesses which all are manifestations of the primary one God. We are liberal in attitude and so you can worship whomever you like, also you can enjoy any philosophy you prefer. Our understanding of God, mankind and creation is so deep and wise that simply everyone must be allowed to follow his personal view of the world, corresponding to his maturity. Once he is mature enough, he can undergo a special mental training to unfold is higher nature completely. So, come and join us if it feels right for you. Enjoy the greatness, the abundance and beauty of our tradition, our teachings and realize yourself.”

You: “This sounds a little bit different to what the others have told me so far. Interesting. So, the core is the own development of the higher nature and maturity plays a major role. Very liberal, indeed and fascinating.”

The seventh representative comes in and it seems that someone switched the lights on.

M: “Hello my beloved Brother! Love, devotion and compassion are my path. I am a child of God and so you are. Divine love heals all your wounds, comforts you and lifts you up, brings you joy and ecstasy, and eternal bliss in the unity with the Divine. Find fulfillment in God. Become one. Enjoy the Divine in everything!”

You: “Ecstasy, love, happiness – this all sounds so satisfying. And you are radiating so much love, happiness, peace and light indeed. I am fascinated.”

Number eight comes in.

C: “I am the representative of God and his son. Our religion is the one and only true religion. If you want to save your soul from hell, you need to join us and obey to your shepherd. We can promise you heaven where you dwell among the angels in the presence of God. And if you did sins, we can forgive them. So, save your soul from the devil and eternal hellfire and join us quickly.”

You: “Oh, this is impressive. You are the first representative of God which I meet in person. Mmmh, somehow I guess I have heard similar ideas before.”

The next one pops in.

P: “We represent God and his son as well but we are really liberal. So it is no problem to think and believe what you like. Everything is so relative today and there are so many opinions. In the end, who knows what is right?!”

You: “Yes, a very convincing attitude. Maybe you work also with coincidences?!”

After a short break and a small talk with the trainee, the tenth representative comes in.

N: “We believe in nothing!”

You: “Mmmh, this is truly not much. Someone before you has believed in nothingness, but I guess this was something else.”

Number eleven joins.

A: “I believe that I cannot know anything!”

You: “This is nice. It probably brings a great relief, – no need to make any research or studies.”

Number twelve:

G: “The world is bad. Everything has to die, and all beings are suffering. The world has been created by a false god. We can show you the way to the real world beyond this material prison.”

You: “This sounds not nice. I guess, I have to die first to get to this better world, right?!”

Slowly the evening comes but fortunately only a few representatives are left.

S: “Look, all people are crazy with their false religions. We really give a fuck about all these idiots. We do what we want! It is real fun to scare the shit out of them with our dark practices. Join us and leave the idiots in their mental prisons!”

You: “So, you are quite fed up with establishment, doing your own thing. Interesting.”

Number fourteen appears in the door.

F: “We are a secret society. We are the keepers of ancient knowledge. If you are worthy, we will allow you to join. All what we know, we present it in secrets, so that it is up to you to discover what is hidden. In our work, we follow our traditional rituals.”

You: “This sounds pretty mysterious. Maybe a little bit too mysterious?”

Number fifteen comes in after a short coffee break.

E: “We are the kings of this world. We worship money and power. When you join us, you get everything you want. There are no limits. Become rich and famous. Become powerful and do what you like!”

You: “Not bad! But I guess, there is a high price to pay.”

The last one comes in, looking quite impressive.

H: “My friend, you have met so many representatives of different beliefs today. You must be tired. I am the last one, which you will meet. I offer you true initiation into the knowledge of our creation, of the evolution of mankind and of God. You will get all the tools and the training to experience everything by your own. It is the universal path which I teach you. Here you will see that all religions, all paths, all relative truths origin from the universal truths, from the absolute which is beyond normal human understanding.”

You: “A universal approach and understanding sounds really fascinating. It is so different from the other ideas.”

After having a long dinner, you call all representatives into your big office. Everyone is curious about your choice. It takes a while until all are seated. Most representatives look very serious and important while a few look quite simple. On looks a little bit evil and another one radiates pure bliss.

You: “Dear representatives, thank you very much for coming today and for introducing your beliefs to me. Normally people grow up in your religion and so there is no need to convince anyone or to find good arguments to join. And normally you do not meet others from different beliefs. And so there is no discussion, no questioning, no reframing, no new understanding of what you believe in. It is interesting how different in parts your beliefs are. Indeed, we have the whole spectrum of possible beliefs. How can there be such differences? Further on it is fascinating that some of you claim that their God is the only true God, that their ideas are the only true ideas about how religion has to look like. Fascinating is also the contradiction between the statements of following an absolute and all-loving God while in specific situations this all-loving God behaves like a jealous human being, totally lacking of love and compassion. So obviously something must be wrong or mistaken. I see that not all followers are completely happy with their beliefs chosen by birth. But they also do not want to question them or to find answers. For my part, – I am interested in what really is, in reality, and reality appears more complex, more fascinating than the atheistic-materialistic scientists believe. So I will follow the universal path of empiric studies and training to find the eternal truth behind all veils of Maya.”

H: “Well spoken, my friend! It is time for you to walk your path. Dedicate yourself to absolute truth, to absolute love, to absolute wisdom and you will find what you are looking for, – the Absolute beyond delusions and ego!”

You: “So be it, Master!”