Going beyond duality

We humans are used to duality. We are used to all kinds of emotions. We are conditioned by subconscious drives, subconscious behavior, by patterns which we are completely unaware of. This is normal. It only starts to hurt, to cause suffering when these drives do not work out, when they go against what we really wish for.

I guess that most people know this situation. You are in a relationship and you love your partner. You want to stay together, maybe even want to marry and get children together. This is what your mind says and what your heart tells you. But on the subconscious level, on the level of emotions, of infantile thinking and feeling, of infantile behavior, on the level of subconscious reactions, you get easily lost in destructive, hurting emotional fights where your brain seems to be off, where suffering is caused, real damage which you do not really understand and which goes against your mind and heart. We easily can hurt those we love. We can easily destroy other people and our relationships with them by our subconscious behavior. And so we are entrapped in duality. We do good things and we do bad things. And it seems that we lack completely of control in this regard. It is the role play of the child, the happy child, the evil child, the child which longs of acceptance, appreciation, for being okay and loved, and the child which is in blind rage, destroying everything like Godzilla, like a wild animal in fury.

And as there is not only one child in an old body but there are only children in adult bodies, we have everywhere the same problems of duality, of love and hate, of making things flourish and of destroying things.

I personally call this play of duality “kindergarten”. In a kindergarten a lot of children do nothing else than playing different roles, behaving often really childish, infantile, with a lacking of understanding, a lacking of compassion, often quite selfish and reckless, just following the present desire, and on the other hand easily hurt, sad, lonely, mistreated. Here we see the principle of eye for an eye at work. “You have stolen my toy, so I will steal your toy!” or “You have kicked me, so I kick you now!”

“My pain shall be your pain!”

Children are children, so we cannot expect more. We can only help them grow in understanding each other, in showing compassion, in respect and care.

Again, this is simply the level of duality. This fighting each day with others takes a lot of energy and causes a lot of bad emotions. This is important to see. Can you see it for yourself? In your life? And what do you think? Has this fighting brought any good fruits for you or for others?

Wise men, wise masters, initiates, enlightened ones, – they all understood that peace and happiness can not be found in the world of duality but only beyond this kindergarten playground. And so they all taught the same:

Forgive others and so shall you receive forgiveness. (escape the traps of eternal fights)

Show compassion and understanding. (no judgement)

Love yourself and everyone else truly. (anger and hate cause only destruction and self-destruction while a state and attitude of true love makes happy)

Do good deeds. (being kind and supportive to others makes yourself happy)

In conclusion, these few points can be found in the teachings of all spiritual traditions and in the core of all religions. It is what we need to do to experience real happiness. And with doing so we leave the kindergarten duality stage play. We go beyond.

Now the point is that it is easy to think about these things. It is easy to discuss them. But it takes effort to realize them. It can take great efforts to go beyond duality as it requires changes, deep changes in your personality, in your human nature.

Most important to understand is the fact that all bad emotions like anger, hate, despite, jealousy, etc. do not change anything for the better but unfold only destructive and self-destructive effects. Indeed, you make yourself ill. You make yourself suffer. And for what? You gain anything good, no benefit at all. So when you understand this mechanism of self-intoxication then you can leave it and replace it by an attitude of understanding, of respect, of love, of kindness, of being the divine self which you truly are.

Be good, do good, feel good!