Three types of love
It makes sense to start with the insight that several types of love exist. When we talk about the love between two human beings, then we basically have the unconditional love “I love you as you are and do not expect anything from you.”, we have the animalistic type of love “Let´s have sex!” and we have the conditional love “I love you because I feel attracted to you!”.
The point is simple: We cannot only base a human relationship of unconditional love. We must pay respect to the law of balance which says that we need to regard all levels of the human being including sex and conditional love.
The error in philosophical thinking for spiritual people is that they think that sex is too animalistic for a spiritual relationship and that a spiritual relationship must be completely set on unconditional love without any conditional aspects. Because conditional love is bad but it is not bad. It is vital for a happy relationship and it only could be bad.
For a better understanding: Both must fit together in a relationship – on the conditional love level and on the sexual level. The unconditional level asks for nothing.
Conditional love is connected to the solar plexus chakra which is vital for all relations with other people and beings. Conditional love means that you feel attracted to a person with specific characteristics in energy, in mind, soul and body, and in behavior. Without this specific, fitting attraction a relationship is not possible. It is the basis for joy, for happiness, for sex and for reproduction.
When we hear the term “conditional love”, then we think only about the bad aspects like “I have to show perfect behavior to receive love.” But this negative aspect is only one part of the truth. We just need to focus on the positive part, the part which makes us feel fascinated about the other person, which is attractive to us, which makes us go beyond our comfort zone and which makes us do crazy things. This is the vital, interesting part.
In conclusion: We do not need to destroy the attraction between a man and a woman. We do not need to neglect joy and playfulness, the celebration of conditional love between two beings who fit perfectly to each other, who are meant to express the greatest mystery of creation, – the unity of the two opposite poles in love and the wonder of reproduction. We simply have to integrate it in a positive, wonderful way. And beyond this, we need to be aware of the freedom of each person in the relationship – the unconditional love. And at last, when all fits, then the physical type of love, sex, should be enjoyed completely in real passion (without thinking about anything). All three types of love belong together for a fulfilled relationship and true happiness. We must pay respect to all aspects of our composed nature.