Some thoughts about finding true love
Besides all the secrets and mysteries of God and creation, maybe the most challenging mystery is love, – the love between a man and a woman, between the two main poles of the universal polarity.
Here the challenge starts with the idea to find a fitting partner and once the partner is found, then the challenge continues with sustaining a good relationship.
For normal human beings this is already a real challenge and it is often a much bigger challenge for those with a spiritual attitude.
I want to put some light on this topic, sharing some personal thoughts from the male pole.
Basically, we have two main points of view regarding this problem. There is the limited point of view of us as incarnated human beings, coming along with a limited understanding and a big unconscious drive where we lack of control and comprehension. And there is the higher point of view which is holistic, integrative and clear in all aspects regarding the different factors as well as the higher aims and sense.
From this higher, spiritual point of view which is beyond normal human thinking, everything is clear and simple. We meet this clarity on the astral plane when we plan our next incarnation together with our spiritual guide and other souls. Here we set the milestones for our journey in the material world. And this includes certainly all relationships, all the experiences of love.
From this point of view, we could easily say “On the 18th of November in 2017 you meet Carole XY on a birthday party from your friend John. You fall directly in love, etc…” as this is simply one main milestone or event your planned incarnation. The soul which will have the name Carole has planned this meeting together with you in the astral realms as you both want to make certain experiences together. Indeed, you have decided for this relationship because you are old soul-friends, meeting over and over again in the various incarnations and in the new incarnation you both want to work on a specific topic, for example you want to improve your empathy for each other and your communication for a deeper understanding of each other´s needs. And maybe, you have to balance some old “mistakes”. However, it is a conscious decision to meet on a specific date in a specific frame as this fits into the bigger plan of your life.
Now you are incarnated, having lost your memory about your plans for this incarnation and with this the point of view changes from absolute to the limited human understanding with all its problems.
Unfortunately, we cannot say “No problem, although I am a single, I just have to wait for the birthday party of my friend John and there I will meet the fitting girl to marry. Carole is waiting for me and I will do the same.”
Quite the contrary, we probably feel pretty stupid as we nearly no nothing at all. It is a series of open questions: Which type of woman could be the right one for me? Where could I look for a fitting woman? Do I fit with my personality do the woman I am looking for? What about the external conditions to find the right woman? Is this the right time or do I have to wait? When is the right time? What is really important for me? What is my vision of the future? And so on…
So probably most of us are quite uninspired or have certain ideas in mind which might not really fit to reality. And then we start to work on this “problem” by the strategy of trial and error. This can result in many unpleasant or strange experiences as well as positive ones which can last longer or end quickly.
As a side effect, we grow by making all these experiences but still many aspects are unconscious. Who really understands himself? Who understands how he is seen by others? And certainly who is able to understand women which are from Venus while men are from Mars? This means, that it is not an easy task to understand the other, opposite pole as it is a different nature.
Additionally today we face more problems than in former times. Most of the traditional, natural social connections are lost or are not maintained or not offered, so that many people feel lonely although there are millions of people in a single town today. Then we have the artificial, virtual pseudo reality where you can easily connect with people worldwide but without any real value or real personal connections. And with this, we have the dating platforms with millions of singles where you probably find someone which is fitting exactly to your (more or less superficial) wishes. But the pictures and profiles do not replace the personal contact and impression of someone else. It is deluding. It is like shopping a product on amazon. But we are no products in a virtual super market.
Besides all these aspects or problems, we often suffer from an inner conflict of intellect versus feeling. Maybe the intellect is looking for beauty, top model and the part which feels in us, looks for something different, maybe for love and happiness. And maybe other things play a role like sexual desires, certain life experiences which shaped our perception and our wishes, etc. So typical thoughts can be “I love her but she is not educated enough or her Dad is not rich enough or I am not successful enough in business, etc.” or “I want this woman because she looks like my famous movie star (and all other aspects do not matter).” or “I feel a great sexual desire (and everything else is irrelevant!” or “I have to marry a woman from high society at all costs!” Indeed, we humans can produce a lot of stupid ideas which cause big inner and outer conflicts.
Then we often suffer from subconscious patterns of behavior which ask for healing. Many people repeat the same mistakes in choosing the wrong partner instead of becoming aware of their pattern and healing it for being free for real happiness. It is often all about healing and dissolving blockades to be able to experience happiness and true love.
In conclusion, from the human point of view the topic “love” is often a complex of various problems. The intellect is completely overburdened as it is the most limited aspect of the human being. But we still have the holistic intuitive feeling which guides us through the challenges of life and let us find a series of partners for making experiences and often the one partner where we stay.
Which specific problems do spiritual people face regarding love and partnership?
In general, we know many problems of the “normal” people too. But we have also some extra problems. One big problem can be that we are focused on the ideal form of love, – true love, total understanding, total harmony, etc. And when we look for this, we get easily disillusioned by reality. It is hard to find perfection in the human world.
Another possible problem is physical sexuality. One aspect here is that very refined souls do not really live and feel on the physical level but they experience themselves as spiritualized beings without real physical/sexual desires. The other aspect is that most spiritual persons have made experiences as monks and nuns who neglected completely their human-physical desires and making unhealthy vows of chastity, etc. The lacking of a sense for the physical level of love, of sexuality can cause many problems regarding relationships. From a holistic point of view, we have to pay respect to our physical being and sexuality as an expression of love on this level. Unfortunately, there are also negative teachings about the physical body which have unfolded negative effects on personal attitudes of many spiritual people. However, we have to go back to a positive-natural attitude of appreciation and integration of the body and sexuality.
Spiritual people are also quite often on “trips” where they are so busy with themselves or higher missions or spiritual training or deeper healing that they are not open or ready for a relationship. And it is also possible that the spiritual practice has such fulfilling, saturating effects that simply no real need or desire for a partner can rise.
And maybe at last – it is not easy to find a fitting spiritual partner of so-called soulmate in this materialistic world.
A special case are the “mainstream esoteric people” which mix up everything and follow trends and superficial “spiritual ideas” without a real or deeper understanding. It is like sitting in a theatre, eating lots of popcorn, drinking cola and being flashed by a movie but lacking of reflection and a deeper sense. We call it in Germany “Popcorn Movie” – pure and dull entertainment but it looks good. It is the fast food for the soul. For example, today there are countless “spiritual people” who are spiritual because they do yoga in a gym or are vegetarians because it is the present trend. Regarding our topic, this can be a trap for real spiritual people to search among such pseudo esoteric followers. Many of them need healing or therapy as this “esoteric stuff” is used as a kind of crutch to be able to deal with the insanity of life today.
Now let us think about how we can approach this topic from our point of view as spiritual souls.
- It is normal for all human beings to make different experiences regarding love, sexuality and the opposite sex. So everyone goes through a series of such experiences and changing partners. Exceptions to this rule are very rare.
- Depending on the plans for the incarnation in most cases a soul is waiting for a lasting relationship according to the appointment we have made. In some cases a few souls for a few relationships are waiting where we have planned to work on specific tasks or experiences. Especially today “time is running” and we accomplish more experiences than before. This includes more than one education, job, partner, etc. In very rare cases, we have decided in the astral realms to live alone without a partner.
- So far in conclusion, we can say that the chances are good to meet one day the right soul for a relationship. But this does not necessarily promise happiness. It just says that this relationship follows a hidden sense for healing, balancing, love, special experiences, working on certain tasks, etc. On the astral plane, we have accepted this – due to a state of higher consciousness and understanding of necessities. On the material plane it is harder as we here wish for only positive experiences. At last, we accept the eventual challenge as we subconsciously know about its higher value and meaning.
- Now one main point is that we have a certain influence on the nature of our partner and the relationship. We experience problems with love, with partners and with relationships as long as we have not cleared and balanced and refined ourselves. This means, if you wish for a happy relationship with true love, etc. then the first task for you is to take care to clear yourself, to heal yourself and to refine yourself to a good level. This can be achieved with tools from psychotherapy, homeopathy, introspection work, specific meditations for forgiveness and dissolving of guilt and atonement (healing relationships in general), etc. When you know about these things and when you undergo a professional treatment, then you become free for positive experiences and it releases also your chosen partner from making unpleasant experiences of having to “work things out”. In fact, so much suffering could be eliminated with low effort if people knew about it. And this refinement process has certainly further beneficial effects on your life in general and on your progress on the path.
- Then it is not bad in general to meditate about yourself, your fitting partner and your foreseen relationship. You have to understand deeply who you are, what you really need and wish for on all three planes, with this what kind of soul you wish for as your partner (including thoughts about the physical appearance but the nature of the soul is the key) and how you imagine your future (if you wish for creating a family, etc.). In this meditation it is important to get consciously in contact on the higher planes with the partner´s energy, the soul, maybe with the future as well and to receive impressions, insights and inspiration about these things. Indeed you really feel into these things for intuitive understanding of what is really important for you and where your path of life leads to. It is not the intellect which is asked(!)
- Another aspect is generally speaking that there are not countless options of a fitting partner for spiritual people. There are indeed only a few. Depending on your own character, the fitting woman can be a priestess, a queen, the natural woman or the innocent soul. Maybe it is also a normal woman with a good heart with a positive attitude but without any spiritual desires. Spiritual men are often something like spiritual warriors or like priests or pure souls. Sometimes you find also kingly men or adventurer. So depending on your own nature, you will prefer a fitting character – the king and his queen, the priest and his priestess or maybe the wise man with a natural beautiful woman with a pure and loving heart. It can be useful to meditate about these characteristics and to feel which female character would fit to you.
- Then we have, what I call “flavor”. It is the aspect of a woman which has charming effects on you, which you appreciate, which you enjoy, which is fascinating you permanently. It is a specific characteristic, a special energy, a special behavior or physical quality. It is something to adore. It is good to become aware of the special flavor your feel attracted to by women. It can be the inner, energetic beauty of a woman, it can be her eyes, her smile, her female radiation, her sense for humor, etc.
- On the level of the four elements, you see the domination of one or two elements in your own soul and from this you can derive how the element harmony could or should look like in your potential partner. We have two “useful” options here. We can choose a partner who has the same nature or we choose a partner who is complementing our own nature. This depends certainly also on the degree of refinement of both. Let´s imagine that you are quite airy in a positive way. So you could choose a partner who is also airy. Then you will understand each other well and you will share the same attitude, needs and wishes. Or you choose an earthy partner where you both will have balancing effects on each other. Your partner will ground you while you will lift her into the airy mood. This relationship can include some challenges but will serve your development. When we think now about the classical polarity of fire and water, then we will see a great power of attraction between both partners. Besides these ideas, many spiritual people are quite balanced in their element nature, so they often get together with other balanced souls.
- After clearing yourself from blockades, healing yourself, refining yourself and meditating about all these things where you use your feeling and intuition, you are quite ready to meet the right soul for a happy relationship. Now you can consciously phrase your wish or vision about the right partner and the form of relationship you long for. It is something like a message to the cosmic mind or the higher planes of existence that you are now ready and that you know what you want. And it is a message for your subconsciousness which can organize your filter of perception for this aim and bring you into the corresponding situations for realizing your wish. You can use your phrases also in form of prayers or for further meditation. Indeed this means all that you bring yourself into the right setting for finding the right woman and starting your relationship.
- You can improve this whole process with magical techniques to influence yourself in a beneficial way, to receive further inspiration and guidance, to meet possible partners, etc. However it might be for you, all what you do consciously will be a part of what you have planned in the astral realms. It is all serving your development.
- Maybe as a last hint: We have two main options to realize love and a relationship. It is the active way, where you work on meeting the right woman and the passive way, where you have the right setting and let yourself drift in the river of life towards meeting your woman. Too much force or pressure is a result of the intellect and in general not really useful but a waste of energy. On the other hand you cannot stay in your flat and wait for a wonder. So indeed the main point is the right setting and a moderate amount of activities which follow your intuition. Then the river of life can bring you to your destination in a good way.
I have made a lot of practical research about this topic, including the application of various magical techniques. Research and experiments have a great value. Among other things, I have made many interesting and also funny experiences. So for example, I have seen and also met many women who looked like women from movies or TV or from fashion simply because I found them attractive. My perception was directed to potential girl-friends and I came into corresponding situations. Also women were checking me, even when they were riding a bicycle or in other circumstances where I might be normally “uninteresting”. Then old female friends said “Hello” after months and years of no contact.
And at last – you can keep it simple and pray for guidance, inspiration and support. You are not alone but you have to ask for help.