The dark side of spirituality – death wish, spiritual suicide and total annihilation
This is a very dark topic and the darkest trap for the spiritual seeker. Unfortunately also well-known and good developed seekers, enlightened ones and masters got entrapped and many will follow.
So it is good to understand the problem and to save yourself from this very bad trap.
First of all I have to explain a little bit about the true spiritual development, – the plan for the human evolution as this is the basis to understand the dark path.
In fact there exists a divine plan for the whole development of a human soul. It is comparable with the life of a flower. A flower is foreseen to start as a small seed in the earth, which grows and unfolds step by step the whole plant with leaves and later with blossoms in total splendor. Then the flower has reached its total beauty, – the inner beauty has unfolded completely. So the same is true for the human soul. First it is quite “small” and raw but from incarnation to incarnation the soul, the human beauty unfolds more and more. And when the human beauty has unfold completely then the soul unfolds in steps its divine nature, its divine beauty until a god or goddess has unfolded. Then the human being has reached its natural state of perfection. In this state of perfection the god or goddess can continue life, making experiences, accomplishing divine missions and so on. And one day this divine spirit is so vast and perfect and satisfied with life that it feels the wish to become one with the absolute divine spirit, with God and then both melt and the individuality dissolves in the unity. I must say here that after such a long time there are no real big differences left as you take part in the divine nature already as a high developed master or god. So this is all positive, all in balance and all lawful. And in fact the spiritual development provides the satisfaction of all your needs and wishes. You are saturated with all positive energies, ideas and feelings. There is no lack – anywhere. Harmony, beauty, happiness, light, love, peace, abundance, knowledge, unity – all these things are yours, belong to your experience, your nature.
And now we move on to the dark side.
Imagine that you are a good soul and you see all the darkness in the world. You see all these sleepers. You notice how much evil happens each day and no one seems to learn anything or to fight for the good, for the light. A lost world, a lost mankind. War, destruction, ignorance, suffering everywhere, the evil has gained control, no possibility to escape, nothing good is left. This makes you suffer, this makes you angry. Maybe you try to focus on your spiritual practice, you try to think positive and maybe you can accomplish this for a good amount of time. But all this suffering breaks you and somehow without knowing you try to escape into higher realities, better worlds of love and peace, of eternal happiness. Maybe you come to the conclusion that life is senseless, dualistic, evil, that creation is just an unholy illusion and ruled by a devil instead of God. And your depressions increase, your suffering increases. You have lost all your hope for yourself and mankind and you look forward to dissolve yourself into nothingness, death, total annihilation, the glorious end of this unhappy existence. Never be born again, no suffering any more, no illusions any more. The spiritual death as the desired aim of your spiritual development. And maybe on your way you try to kill you lower desires, you try to kill your “evil” ego, you try to kill all your human aspects as you feel that they are low, raw and unworthy for higher states of enlightenment. You want to renounce everthing, living like an ascetic in the desert. Loneliness, the void and death are your best friends. And one day because of all these depressions, this denial of yourself and life, the unbearable emptiness you die of a serious illness. And in fact this serious illness is just the physical expression of the deep imbalance of your mind and soul. Instead of taking part in the spiritual life, in love, light and happiness, you have cultivated the greatest darkness, the abyss, the deadly emptiness in yourself. You got entrapped. What a tragedy!
And in worst case you have led other seekers your way, the way to annihilation, spiritual suicide.
But thanks to divine grace in another incarnation you can return to the path of light, love and wisdom. Until this happens you have to face endless pain, depressions and suffering.
So, what do we see here?
A negative attitude leads to a negative perception of the world and of the spiritual path. The negative perception lets you misunderstand spiritual concepts and teachings – as you see everything only in a negative way. Your death wish and your depressions do the rest. And then it is no wonder if you get a serious illness where you die from. The bad emotions have killed you in the end. And in this case you can be enlightened, you can have experienced unity. It does not matter as big parts of your soul are ill and so no working vessel for the divine spirit to unfold completely in its whole beauty. A damaged, broken and polluted temple cannot bear the divine spirit as it should.
Krishnamurti is one good example for this. He was lost in depressions and died from cancer (when I remember right). His teachings have a great negative influence at least in big parts which cause depression and hopelessness in the reader. I have read only one positive book by him “At the feet of the master”.
I see such things also at other seekers. They are looking for nirvana with the idea that they dissolve in nothingness, that their existence ends and additionally they dream of states of total annihilation, total death. They indulge in intellectual discussion about higher and highest states of nothingness, of purest nonexistence.
And when you say that everything is an illusion, you are an illusion, creation is an illusion, what sense is in this? In fact this concept is just completely misunderstood.
Incomplete understanding of teachings and practice is more than dangerous and unhealthy.
A real seeker looks for higher and highest forms of life, of being alive and not for death. Search for the maximum of life in its highest degree and then you meet God, then you know where you come from and who you are. Death is the opposite of God, the source of life.
So if you discover dark emotions, death wish, depressions, etc. then become aware that this is not the right path, the right attitude, become aware that your soul is ill, that you need healing, light and love, vitality.
Don´t get entrapped in darkness!